I've been hearing this a lot lately: "You need to take care of yourself."
AND HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THAT?!?
Things have been crazy busy this year. And it just hasn't stopped. Orders started rolling in the end of January, after my show at the Buyer's Market in Philly, and they just haven't stopped. Usually things slow down (read: hit the breaks) at the beginning of June. Not this year. Things kept rolling, full steam ahead. Orders kept coming in, pots kept going out. It's been amazing actually. And somewhat stressful. But I've been managing, thanks to the help of amazing family and friends. And the whole time I've managed to take at least ONE day off a week (more or less). I stopped working nights, and have made an effort to do what normal, non-stressed, regular people do, by making sure I take time to get out and visit friends and take in a change of scenery once in a while. And let me assure you, this does NOT come naturally to an introvert such as myself!
And yet, a recent crisis threw everything through a loop. (And no, I won't be going into details), but my fragility became very apparent. I can't do it all. I can't get everything done on time, done right, trouble-free.
I am human. I can only do so much. When the shit hits the fan, I can't work miracles. So people keep saying "you have to take care of yourself!". And yet, I have no idea what that means. I make time for myself, I try to be realistic in my expectations, I recognize when I'm stressed and need a break, I have the ability to say "no" to projects that I know will only hurt me more than help me.
So what does that mean? How, exactly, does one 'take care' of oneself? When the people I love need me, I'm sure as shit gonna drop everything and do everything I can to make things better. And fuck everything else.
The pots can wait.
The orders can wait.
The bills can wait.
What's important to me are the people I love and they will always, ALWAYS, come first. No. Matter. What.
I feel very fortunate to have the amazing customers that I have. I have made an effort to communicate with everyone who is currently waiting for things from me, to explain in simple, honest terms, what is going on, and when they can realistically expect their orders. And every. single. one. of them has completely understood, and given me the space I need to make sure they get the best pots I can make, in the most realistic time frame I can muster, while still managing to keep my wits about me.
I am grateful that there are caring, and compassionate people in this world. I am grateful that my customers are caring and compassionate people. I am grateful for those that I love, and those that love me back.
I LOVE what I do, and I try to do my best every day, to make others happy, to meet the expectations of others, to make sure everyone who does business with me is getting to best I can muster.
Unfortunately, that's not always possible.
And for those times that its not, I'm deeply grateful for those who understand that I am only human, and can only do so much.
So for those of you affording me space right now, you are amazing, and your compassion is deeply humbling.
May karma be kind to you.